Robert Christgau’s Inane Review of Kraftwerk’s ‘Computer World’

Eins zwei drei vier funf sechs sieben acht

How Robert Christgau came to be a well-respected music critic I haven’t the foggiest and actually really don’t care. What’s to care about the biography of a music critic (with the possible exception of Lester Bangs or Richard Meltzer)?

So here we go, from ‘Christgau’s Record Guide The ’80’s’ here’s his review of Kraftwerk’s ‘Computer World’.

“I once convinced myself to enjoy this band–if there had to be synthesizer rock [!], I thought, better it should be candidly dinky [!!]. And this is their funniest to date–every time I hear that machine intone “I program my home computer/ Bring [sic] myself into the future [actually the machine is Ralf Hütter, the lyric is actually “Beam myself into the future”, obviously accuracy matters a great deal to Christgau…] I want to make a tape for all those zealots who claim a word processor will change my life. But fun plus dinky doesn’t make funky no matter who’s dancing to what program. Funk has blood in it.”

I could go on length about how inane this review is, but really all that needs to be said is this: fuck Robert Christgau.


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